An Interview with Voldemort
by HermioneTwin11
Summary: A look at the real voldemort. Corny but r/r please!


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any way!  
  
Note: It is kind of corny but I have other hp humor stuff too. R and R please!  
  
  
  
Interview with Harry Potter Character!  
  
First Interview: Voldemort  
  
Reporter: "What reason was it that you decided to become "evil?"  
  
Voldemort: sobbing into his hands while shaking head in shame "I was never treated right as a child! My only toy was a LaLa doll. I slept with it every night, but then the other kids stole it. That is when I decided on the Dark Arts. To get back at the bullies. They always picked on little Tom, but now look who's on top." Opens his eyes and laughs hysterically like a maniac  
  
  
  
Reporter: "Who was your best friend ever?"  
  
Voldemort: "I never had one until I turned six. Starts giggling like a child His name was Spot. You should have seen him, he could fly and lived on the moon and could even imitate a bunny. One time we even went inside a kid's lunch together and ate his potato chips." Covers his mouth as if he committed a crime  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What was your favorite color as a child?"  
  
Voldemort: "You know I seem to like black, but pink always brightened my day. Spot was a pink unicorn, so we got along great." Smiles widely  
  
  
  
Reporter: "Were you ever considered a bully?"  
  
Voldemort: "Now, many people would say that, but when I was little, everyone called me a punk. Spot and I loved to hide from them together. You know, if I touched him, I could become invisible. Though behind my hands was a bad place cause they always found me."  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What was your favorite animal?"  
  
Voldemort: "Well, you may think I like unicorns cause that's what spot was. But I really like the tiger on Frosted Flakes. I have met him you know. "Hey Tony, I love the things you do…" Sings the whole song then gets up and waves his hands in the air "He was so great. He told me I would be great one day!"  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What was your favorite food?"  
  
Voldemort: "I always liked the Trix cereal. Gets up and bangs hands on the table But I never saw why they didn't give the poor rabbit some cereal or yogurt. All he wanted was one little taste. Those kids are just like the ones who were at my orphanage. No respect for rabbits." sits down calming himself  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What was your favorite movie and actor?"  
  
Voldemort: "The Fox and the Hound was the bomb. The way that fox stood up and let his friend go… pure bravery! As for an actor, I would have to pick Eddie Murphy, though the Beast is right behind him. Eddie could charm those animals like anything. Everyone told me that Spot wasn't there, but I knew old Ed could see him!"  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What is your favorite candy, from the human or wizard world either?"  
  
Voldemort: "Jelly Beans are the best. Spot loved jelly beans too because he would throw them at the bullies when no one was looking. 5 points if you hit them in the leg. #0 for the nose!"  
  
  
  
Reporter: "Where is your favorite place to be?"  
  
Voldemort: "When I was little, Spot and had a secret fort. We would sit and talk, and If we were lucky, we got to drink cool aid with oysters!" starts waving and jumping around like it was a miracle  
  
  
  
Reporter: "What have you wanted all your life, but never got?"  
  
Voldemort: "I wanted and still want my own TV show. I'll call it, Voldemort and Spot's Talk Show about Bunnies!" I want people to know that Voldemort has a good side… sometimes.  
  
  
  
Reporter: "We have time for one last question, so here it is: When you are not out being evil, what do you enjoy?"  
  
Voldemort: "I like to… watch Barney! The way he helps those kids like that. He is my hero… idol. I always wanted to be him when I was older… looks thoughtfully then throws up his hands But, I'm not, so it's time to be evil, so I'll be seeing you!"  
  
  
  
He gets up and walks out with his arm around his imaginary friend "Spot the pink unicorn. "That went pretty well, huh, Spot?" 


End file.
